The Unlikely Obsession: Hyrule Thorns: The Legend of Zelda Hentai Game

I never thought I'd be writing this, but my latest obsession is a weird little game called Hyrule Thorns: The Legend of Zelda Hentai Game. Yes, it's exactly what you think it is — an 18+ take on one of my favorite childhood video game franchises. But hear me out! The storyline picks up after Link has defeated Ganon for the umpteenth time (this timeline is certainly raunchier than any official canon). Princess Zelda decides that her knight deserves some much-need rest and sends him off to relax in her private chambers. Things escalate from there faster than a Stalfos with a burning torch up its ass. Now before you judge me, let me clarify something: Hyrule Thorns isn't just porn disguised as a game. It actually has decent graphics and surprisingly engaging gameplay mechanics inspired by classic adventure games like Super Metroid and The Legend of Zelda series themselves. You know how in original LoZ titles you had to explore dungeons filled with traps and enemies to collect power-ups? Well, imagine those dungeons being replaced by lustful encounters and power-ups transforming your trusty sword into... well, you get the idea. Aside from main story quests, there are also side missions available which allow you to explore other romantic plotlines involving fan-favorite characters like Midna, Tetra, and even Ganondorf himself (yes, it's gay; no, I won't apologize). Plus, hearing familiar music remixed into R&B jams makes getting naughty feel even naughtier somehow. So yeah, don't judge me for my dirty secrets. If traversing Hyrule Kingdom to bone every hot piece of elfin ass is wrong, then I don't want to be right. I suggest you try it out too; who knows, maybe you'll find yourself unleashing your inner pervert within the walls of Hyrule as well. After all, everybody needs a little escape from reality sometimes, right? Right.